Online Conversations About...

Birth Control

I've been lurking a bit and decided to throw my two cents worth into the debate.

There is an essential difference between the medical intervention (in the form of medicine, surgery, etc. to treat a health problem) and birth control, at least in my opinion. As for "medical intervention", Scripture tells us that health is a blessing and a good case can be made for our responsibility of being good stewards of our health. There is mention of sick people seeking physicians, and no where is there any indication that this is wrong. Paul "prescribed" wine medicinally for Timothy; he did not say, "It is entirely up to God whether or not you have stomach trouble and you should not impinge on His prerogatives."

For the typical couple, their fertility is not a health problem. In fact, doggone it, their reproductive systems are "too" healthy! Thus, couples feel entirely justified to interfere with the natural and healthy state of things, to avoid the blessing of fertility, and to go to all sorts of lengths to do so--hormones, sundry chemicals and mechanical devices, even surgery to damage the healthy reproductive system.

The difference? Life and health are a blessing. Nowhere does Scripture tell us we are not to seek after blessings. Fertility is a blessing. Barrenness is a curse, at least according to Scripture.

<<However, childbirth is well known to be one of the most life threatening activities a woman can undergo.>>

Well, I guess I like living dangerously. <g>

Seriously, I would like to know the basis for that statement. Childbirth is not one of the leading causes of mortality or morbidity--at least not in any of the statistics I have seen.

Skip this next part if....

....you are humor-impaired or easily offended. (No offense was intended.)

Perhaps a little levity is in order...

<<...but maybe God created birth control for those who didn't want countless numbers of children.>>

God to Abraham: "Your children shall be as the sand in the sea...the stars in the sky..." (my quickie paraphrase)

Abraham: "But I can't count that high! Can't you come up with an alternative plan?"

God: "Yes, I created it in the Garden but Adam and Eve were kicked out before I had a chance to give it to them."

Then there is the modern day scenario:

Question: "How many children do you have, Mr. and Mrs. Smith?"

Answer: "We don't know. You see, we don't use birth control, so we have a countless number."

On a more serious note...

<<My point is that that is an exceedingly private, intimate decision which one must make in the sanctity of her own walk with God. I can make it for myself, but I can't make it for anyone else. I can't tell those who suffer with infirmities and dangerous physical conditions how they ought to handle their fertility; what arrogance!>>

It is difficult to argue with that. However, at the same time, I am distressed that the current teaching in most churches (outside of the Catholic church) seems to be either dead silence on the issue of birth control or a teaching that we must "be responsible", "use the brains God gave us", etc., etc. Couples are given little direction and guidance from Scripture about how one is to to make such an important decision. The common assumption is that birth control will (and should) be used until such time as the couple responsibly decides to have a child. Why not assume, instead, that children are a blessing from God and that one would welcome them happily unless there was a compelling reason not to do so? By "compelling", I mean something besides "I can't stand being all fat again; I just finally lost my pregnancy weight" or "How will we ever take a decent vacation if we have a whole slew of kids?" or "Our car only has room for the children we have right now"--reasons women have given me unsolicited when I've announced pregnancies past the "acceptable" two. What I mean by "compelling" is the sort of tragic situation like the one described in this folder concerning the mother who died.

Probably the most common reason people give me for not having children--and again, this is unsolicited; I don't go around asking people why they have the number of children they do--is, "I can't handle more than what I've got. In fact, I can barely handle them." I don't think birth control is the solution. True Biblical teaching on how to be a godly mother or father is the answer. Children are a blessing--however, if we do not fulfill our Biblical obligation as parents, they will become a shame and a reproach.

<<This is admirable; however, in some circles, just this kind of competition does exist. I have repeatedly seen women agonizing over their fertility because they did not conceive with their first post-childbirth ovulation or because two or more years passed without a pregnancy. Whenever there is this kind of frenzied pursuit of pregnancy, I know behind it lies a teacher or teacher(s) determined to hold up the bearing of many children as some new standard of righteousness.>>

Wow--I guess I travel in different circles! While I have known women of larger families who have been disappointed that they did not get pregnant when they expected they would, this has usually been because they wanted another child, not because they were in some sort of "who can have the most babies" competition or felt compelled to prove their own righteousness.

The issue you raised of abuse is a thorny one. I have heard some people suggest that marital relations should be discontinued in such instances, but I don't see a Biblical requirement for that. Quite frankly, I don't feel qualified to address the topic of abuse. One thing that troubles me is that the definition can be quite broad. In cases of physical abuse, where the lives of the wife and children are in danger or they are being treated as punching bags, while I wouldn't presume to counsel them to leave, I would ask them to consider seeking safety from harm. (I'm not saying I would counsel them to stay either. In fact, I'd probably ask them to seek counsel from someone besides me.) I certainly wouldn't tell someone in such an abusive situation, "Why don't you let God plan your family?" Frankly, they have much bigger issues to worry about than whether or not birth control is Biblical.

<<Having a inflamed appendix out is different than having a doctor destroy my fertility.>>

A better parallel question to ask would be, "Would you allow a doctor to remove a perfectly healthy appendix?" or even, "Would you allow a doctor to remove a perfectly healthy kidney?" ("By golly, that kidney is healthy. Too healthy, in fact. It's doing its job way too well. Let's do something so it won't work as well!")

UPDATE: The issue of birth control and its place in a godly marriage is one that doesn't have easy answers. Or maybe I should say that it shouldn't have easy answers. As couples, we should be grappling with the Biblical ethics of birth control as well as seeking God's guidance, rather than easily adopting the attitudes and actions of the world.

Several people have asked me what I would consider compelling reasons for using birth control. I've decided that your compelling reasons and mine might be entirely different. I've also decided that your compelling reasons are really none of my business. While I believe it's profitable to discuss the issues, to delve into Scripture, and to deal with the implications of allowing God to plan the family, I don't believe that God has called any of us to make the decisions for others.

Furthermore, there is more to allowing God to plan one's family than simply not using birth control. If you're going to allow God to have control of your reproductive system, do not stop there. Give Him control of your entire body by living, as much as possible, according to God's design. For women, this means not only a chaste and pure lifestyle before marriage, but a healthy lifestyle in anticipation of motherhood. It also means, in my opinion, such things as truly natural childbirth, responsive and extended breastfeeding, good nutrition, etc.

We must also realize that we live in a fallen world. Some babies need to be born by cesarean in order to survive. Some mothers get horridly ill during pregnancy. Disease, deformity, poverty, exhaustion, fear, sin--these are part of the human experience and must be taken into consideration before we simply blithely announce that we've thrown out the birth control and expect that God will take care of everything.

copyright 1994 , 1997 by Rebecca Prewett

Return to the Online Conversations Page

You are the visitor to this page.

All articles authored by any member of the Prewett family are copyrighted. They may not be reproduced online or elsewhere without our expressed, written permission. Articles written by other authors contain copyright notices where appropriate.