Questions for GFI families who have "gone the distance"

One of the questions that I get asked by visitors to these pages is something along the lines of, "Yes, we agree that 'Prep' has lots of problems and we would never use it. But we like the GKGW materials and they have been a great blessing to our family. Why can't you write about the experiences that families are having with the materials for older children?"

That, coupled with the fact that our oldest is leaving childhood behind, has provoked a renewed study of issues surrounding the parenting of youths and young people. And it struck me that this would be a good time, in the interest of fairness, to solicit just the sort of thing I've been asked to write about--the results that families are having with the GFI materials for older children.

What I'm not interested in: stories about how your 3-year-old has learned to knock on your bedroom door and ask if you're decent...stories of how your 5-year-old now addresses all adults by title and surname...stories of how your preteen is characterized by being polite...theoretical musings about how you just know your child, in five or ten years, will be a charming and delightful teenager...etc. I'm interested in the longterm results--the testimonies from those parents who have been implementing GFI materials for a number of years and whose children are out of childhood. Perhaps it would be even more valuable to hear from the young people themselves; I would encourage parents to have their young people give testimony about being raised by the GFI programs. Specifically, I'm interested in answers to the questions I've posed below.

There are two ways in which you can reply. For those who want to engage in further discussion, you might wish to post your answers to The Family Corner Discussion Forum. Or, perhaps you might wish to respond via email. If so, please let me know what portions of your email, if any, you are willing to have added to this page.

Here is what I originally posted to Steve Rein's discussion site:

It seems that most of the "pro-GFI" people involved in this discussion are parents of younger children. I'm not sure why that is--surely there must be a growing number of parents who have decided to "go the distance" with the GFI materials and whose children, or youths, are at least part of the way into the teen years.

I remember that when I first heard the Ezzos' radio program, Anne Marie would frequently exhort listeners to "think long term". There has, since then, been some discussion of possible long term problems resulting from following the GFI programs. The programs themselves, however, make some clear promises about the teen years. I'm curious how GFI programs measure up with some of the teaching my husband and I have received and are receiving about preparing our children for adulthood. So, I'm interested in asking experienced GFI parents the following:

1. What principles of the GFI programs have been most helpful in preparing your child to make the transition from child to youth or young adult?
   
2. At what age did discipline become less "coercive" in nature and more persuasive? For example, when did you stop spanking? At what age did your youth become personally responsible for keeping God's commandments by his own volition?
   
3. How have the GFI programs helped you to prepare your young person for the major issues and milestones of the "teen years"?
   • a deeper commitment to Jesus Christ (assuming your child has made a profession of faith)
   • vision and preparation for future ministry
   • practicing the virtues of diligence, humility, and faithfulness (among others)
   • career and educational decisions and preparation
   • preparation for marriage and parenthood
   • "owning" his Biblical worldview--gaining the ability and opportunity to articulate and defend Biblical truth
     
4. What special projects or activities do the GFI materials suggest you assign your youth as part of his preparation for adulthood?
   
5. If you implemented RMI, was there ever a time when you allowed your youth to learn the scientific terms for human reproductive anatomy? If not, did you censor his textbooks or not allow certain areas of study (such as biology, anatomy, physiology and medicine)? Did your implementation of RMI help to encourage your youth to come to you with questions regarding sexuality, rather than seeking information elsewhere? How did it help you to impart a Biblical view of sexuality to your young person in preparation for marriage and childrearing? [Note: I'd be especially interested in hearing from newlyweds: how did being raised by the RMI principles enhance your marriage? Did your parents ever give you any instruction or advice beyond the flower analogy?]
   
6. Do you find, as your youth matures, that it is more or less important to associate with other GFI families? Would you encourage your youth to seek a spouse among those "grown God's way" or do you have no preference?
   
7. Do you think that the GFI programs have "delivered" what they promised in the life of your family? Is there anything you would do differently if you had to do it over again?

In addition to what I posted above, I would also appreciate any responses (agreement, disagreement, rebuttal, etc.) to the following article:

Again, there are two ways in which you can reply. For those who want their answers to be part of a public discussion of the Ezzos' materials, you can post to The Family Corner Community. Or, perhaps you would rather respond via email. If so, please let me know what portions of your email, if any, you are willing to have added to this page.

copyright 1998 by Rebecca Prewett

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